Fate
by Alptraum
Summary: Rating might go up if I continue. Pretty much Kite thinking about the curse he was given the day Orca got put into a coma, and Balmung's thoughts on his treatment of the Twin Blade.


FATE Horus  
  
Disclaimer: Hrm. *ponders* doth I owneth the game .hack//nfection? I thinketh not. If I did, there would be some major changes. Not to mention I would be filthy stinking rich. Which I am not. So sue me not.  
  
AN: Beginning song is "Aura" from .hack//sign. Love that song. ^_^  
  
****************  
  
if you are near to the dark  
  
I will tell you 'bout the sun  
  
you are here, no escape  
  
from my visions of the world  
  
you will cry all alone  
  
but it does not mean a thing to me  
  
knowing the song I will sing  
  
till the darkness comes to sleep  
  
come to me, I will tell  
  
'bout the secret of the sun  
  
it's in you, not in me  
  
but it does not mean a thing to you  
  
the sun is in your eyes  
  
the sun is in your ears  
  
I hope you see the sun  
  
someday in the darkness  
  
the sun is in your eyes  
  
the sun is in your ears  
  
but you can't see the sun  
  
ever in the darkness  
  
it does not much matter to me  
  
***  
  
His fingers were slicked with sweat, gripping the handle of the Raitei's, trying not to give in to the urge to just drop to his knees, screaming and slamming his fist into the synthetic ground of Mac Anu. Aquamarine eyes shimmered with unshed tears as the raging tornado of emotions ran through him, his throat tight and burning from resisting the scream climbing his throat.  
  
He was alone, thankfully so. He would snap, right there and then, if he had to don his mask again so as to not make his friends worry. He hated that mask sometimes. One of bravery, seeming acceptance of the card fate played him, determination, happiness.  
  
He hated it. Not sometimes. No, he always hated it.  
  
No one seemed to notice that it was all fake, that he was really torn up inside, a lost child screaming his rage at the skies.  
  
Now that sounded like a good idea... He turned, heading to the chaos gate. He entered random keywords, and warped to a field that was dark, a full moon hanging bright in the air. He walked on for a moment, making sure to wander into the middle of nowhere, before dropping to his knees.  
  
His eyes stared up at the simulated image of the moon, large and bright. He knew none of this was real, but his curse...  
  
His curse allowed him to feel the ground beneath him, the pain of battle, and relaxation of the warm sun's rays.  
  
His curse, that bracelet. The same thing that had hurt Yasuhiko... He was no better then those miserable viruses running around. He was a virus...  
  
Balmung had said as much. A bitter smile spread across his face as he remembered.  
  
"Do not forget. The power of the bracelet is the same as the one that put Orca in a coma." He said, repeating the winged blademaster's words.  
  
As if he would ever forget his curse. Did he really seem that dense? That completely hopeless?  
  
He drew absent minded circles in the dirt, his mind wandering to all the times that Balmung of the Azure Skies spoke to him. And each one strengthened his growing belief that he was no more then a virus with a living counterpart in the real world. One could only hear anger and hatred so many times before believing it all themselves.  
  
Again the hot tears pricked at the back of his eyes, and the scream climbed up his throat. But this time, he was alone.  
  
No one could hear, so he opened his mouth.  
  
And screamed his pain at the night sky, the synthetic moon, and whatever sadistic -thing- that had dealt him this fate.  
  
He screamed until his throat was raw, and even then he didn't stop. The burning soreness in his throat felt so good, the mild pain. All thought discarded, he threw his blades away from himself, taking his free fists and pummeling them into the ground, still yelling for all he was worth.  
  
Woe be to whatever monster came up while he was in his rage.  
  
Reaching out, he gripped one of the raiteis in his right fist again, proceeding to slash and stab at the earth, letting all resolve burn away as he let out all his pent up emotions.  
  
They were right, whoever said bottling up emotions would only hurt you. They were right about it all crashing down your ears.  
  
Kite's world was crumbling. Everything he had told himself to keep himself going was being discarded as only another lie, being replaced by one fact:  
  
He. Was. A. Virus.  
  
Nothing mattered anymore. He was alone, so he let out his fury, rage, sorrow. He tried to get up, but ended up just falling back to the ground, all his energy spent.  
  
Sleep would be nice... dreamless, sweet sleep.  
  
He closed his eyes, blue hair drifting into his face as he curled up into a ball and fell dead to the world around him.  
  
***  
  
Emerald eyes watched the twin blade from their perch. Balmung had followed Kite to this field after seeing him storm to the chaos gate with that expression on his face.  
  
That expression: rage and misery.  
  
Naturally, his suspicions rose, immediately on guard. What if he attacked soemone in his fury? Performed Data Drain, put another soul into a coma?  
  
So he followed him. He would never allow that to happen. He would keep his promise.  
  
'If I find out you are indeed one of them, I will kill you.'  
  
And he would not hesitate.  
  
But what he found was that Kite had isolated himself from the rest of the players, to a random field with a full moon hanging overhead.  
  
And he heard the anguished screams.  
  
It was strange, he took the boy for a person who was always calm about anything, even accusations and tragedies. A I-Never-Get-Upset person, if you will.  
  
He always seemed to think of only helping his friends, never of what this state of mind was doing to his emotions.  
  
In the back of his mind, he thought that it was really the bracelet to blame, not Kite himself. It wasn't as if he had asked for it, or so Kite's story implied.  
  
Shaking his head, Balmung shook the sympathetic thought away. It didn't matter who was guilty or not. It was still a threat, and the fact that Kite had it only by accident didn't matter.  
  
He was still a threat to all players' safety.  
  
He was still, a walking virus.  
  
'who is as human as you, who has fears and sadness just like anyone, who fate cruelly dealt this life to.' came the nagging voice again.  
  
It still did not matter. Nevermind that he was human, he was still a menace.  
  
'who would never willingly hurt anyone, who probably hates that bracelet as much as you do.'  
  
Shut. UP.  
  
He sighed as the voice silenced itself, and turned his green eyes back onto the still form of the boy Kite. The keeper of the bracelet.  
  
And Balmung frowned.  
  
Was it very fair for him to treat him so harshly? He had heard Kite's bitter words, the repition of his own words so long ago.  
  
Was he really acting as he should, or just like a child who knew nothing but his own biased opinion?  
  
He was shaken from his thoughts by a distant rumbling. He looked in the direction of the sound and saw a monster approaching. He blinked. Kite was asleep, he wouldn't notice the enemy when it came up and killed him.  
  
Silently cursing his conscience for extending to the well being of even a virus, he jumped down from the tall stone and approached the twin blade. he tried shaking him awake, finally deciding it would be easier to just pick him up and return to his seat on the rock.  
  
He set the boy down when he landed, and sat down again, watching the enemy come and go again, disappearing into the distance.  
  
It was really not fair of him.  
  
Kite was different from the viruses. He was still a person who hated, feared and felt emotions like any other. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
Like Orca.  
  
Only Kite had been punished with the burden of the bracelet, a ticking time bomb, a monstrous thing that would destroy him.  
  
The blademaster looked up at the silver moon again. It was late, even in the real world. He considered logging off for a moment, albeit halfheartedly.  
  
Instead he leaned back, his armored legs hanging off the edge of the stone, high up in the air and out of reach, and closed his eyes.  
  
No one was to blame, except for the viruses themselves.  
  
It was so twisted, he mused as he felt himself drifting, everything was so twisted. Nothing was normal anymore. This game, meant for entertainment, had turned into a nightmare, like a visit to a camp turned into a slasher movie.  
  
And he couldn't bring himself to hate the lost boy a few feet away from him for it.  
  
***  
  
Yet to return, the shadowed one  
  
who quests for the Twilight Dragon  
  
rumbles the dark hearth  
  
And Helba, Queen of the Dark, has raised finally her army  
  
Apeiron, King of Light, beckons...  
  
At the base of the rainbow doth they meet.  
  
Against the abomniable "wave" together they fight.  
  
Alba's lake boils  
  
Light's great tree doth fall  
  
Power - all now to droplets turned in the temple of Arche Koeln  
  
Returns to nothing, this world of shadowless ones.  
  
Never to return, the shadowed one,  
  
who quests for the Twilight Dragon.  
  
The wife buffeted by "waves" turns her back on the field.  
  
The daughter that waited for the shadows repeated,  
  
"For sure... For sure I can go home."  
  
But the girl did not know...  
  
The truth that waited at the end of the journey  
  
The eternal mourning of her land.  
  
In the place of the calamitous, only life was known.  
  
After the circling stars  
  
When the eastern dark void, the air full of despair  
  
In the depths of the divided forest, in the land of Karma,  
  
Riding fast on the path is Skeith  
  
Bearing death's shadow, it eliminates all that seek to thwart it.  
  
The Confusing Mirage, Innis  
  
Decieves those that see it with illusions, rescues the waves  
  
The wave soaring high, when its head is smashed,  
  
A new wave will emerge  
  
To become Magus's power.  
  
When questioning the wave,  
  
hope's light will be lost when he speaks of the  
  
dark future of where sorrow and resignation reign.  
  
Using Fiddlehiem's Technique  
  
When englufed by the Waves of Calamity, Gole will plan  
  
The sweet snare of conciliation is Maha  
  
The Waves, an exceeding maelstrom  
  
Nothing can escape  
  
When you think you have escaped, Talvos exists  
  
To destroy those with his exceeding cruelty  
  
Upon violent requital, only to remain is the void, the vacant darkness  
  
is the harbringer that Copernic is to appear.  
  
Perhaps then the Wave is just a  
  
beginning as well.  
  
'Epitaph of Twilight' -Emma Wieland  
  
***  
  
TBC?  
  
I really dunno. I might continue it. Oh, by the way, it's not necessarily supposed to seem shounen-ai ish, if it does seem that way. Not that I'm against it, I just didn't plan on writing it like that.  
  
*grins* ah well, I could continue it, make it shounen-ai...  
  
We could all use more Balmung/Kite ne? But I like Kite/Elk too. Which reminds me of this one store for a webcomic I saw. For the Love of Yaoi, it was called,a dn the store had these t-shirts, mouse pads and coffee mugs that said 'Got Yaoi' . I need the coffee mug. It can hold my tea whilst I type unrelentlessly on the computer.  
  
Hrm. Okies, well it's something like 4 in the morning, I suspect that the burning in my eyes means I need sleep.  
  
That and the feeling that they're about to bleed or something.  
  
So yeah. Comments, suggestions anyone? I'll try to continue it, without it sucking completely. ^_^ Night! 


End file.
